The False Ownership

"Love never hurts! Its the feeling of ownership that hurts, which is exactly opposite of the Love!!!.”

I started my journey from my Karmabhoomi (A place of work- Bangalore) to my Janmabhoomi (A place of birth - Nagpur).It was 1:30 in my watch, train stopped at Dharmawaram.

"This is 31-32" I said, As I saw an old couple was looking for there seat. It was dark in our chamber, as every one was sleeping.

"Our seat is next to you." They said, as I switched on the lights.

I generally reserve side lower seat in the train, as its an assured window seat.

"Is there anybody outside? Selling some edible?" the old man asked me, as I was looking out from the window.

I looked outside but nobody was there, on the platform.

"Nopes, Nobody is outside." I said, looking at them.

"Drink some water." his wife suggested him.

"Drinking water, when you are hungry, is not a very good idea" I thought, suspecting that the old man was hungry.

I went outside the train in search of some edible. I was carrying lots of sweets, with me, in my bag. I thought offering sweets to the old man will be the last option, as eating sweets and that too at night, will not be good for his health. I searched for edible on the platform but nothing was there.

I came inside the train, by the time the couple was asleep.

Our chamber was already full. I saw, another couple, with their son, who was about the same age of mine, entered in our chamber. This guy was sitting on my seat. I sat near him.

"What is your seat number?" I asked him, as I had correctly suspected that he was traveling without reservation.

"We don't have reservation" He replied. He along with his parents was traveling to Nagpur.

"Let him sit for 15 mins, by the time we will manage seat somewhere" His father said rudely looking in my eyes.

I got very angry, as they were encroaching my space without civility, but swallowed it, as he was of my father's age.

"Where are you going?" guy asked me.

"Nagpur" I said, with discomfort.

To add to my discomfort these people were very dirty and unhygienic.

I had kept my luggage on my seat and locked it with the window bar, so already the seat was occupied and wasn't spacious.

I got irritated, when that guy took his feet on the seat, where I was supposed to sleep the whole night. His socks were very dirty. This was already testing my patience and he spit out of the window!.

The urge came from inside to blow these people out from the chamber. Two years before if this would have happened with me, I would have definitely asked them, to immediately leave my (?) seat, as I was very aggressive in my recent past. Now started realizing that the strength lies in patience and not in aggression, in listening and not in saying, in being polite and not in being rude.

"Go and check with the TT, If any seat is available in the train, give him some money and manage a seat for us." - His father asked him and gave some money.

He took the money from his father and went in the search of seat.

It was a good opportunity for me, to occupy my seat completely. I did the same. I cleaned the seat and lay over occupying the complete seat.

After a while, that guy came back and sat near me on the very small place.

"Train is full and no seat is vacant." He told his father, giving the money back.

As it was night journey, middle berth was on, so his mother has to sit, the whole night, bending her neck. I could see the discomfort of his mother, as she had very small place to sit, near the legs of some other women. Same was the situation of his father. All of them started feeling discomfort, as they knew that there is no seat available in the train. So the night journey would be a nightmare for them. I was very comfortable physically, as I did (was able to do) reservation before time and I had money (by god's grace) to do it.

Being a non believer of the concept that God resides in temple, I don't visit temples generally and I don't believe in worshiping God, with flowers and goodies. I am brought up with the concept that God is everywhere and serving humankind is the best form of worshiping God.

I was seeing the discomfort of the lady, who was about the age of my mom, and I was still laying on the seat just because I own (do I really?) that seat. While growing in life, my emotions started getting blunt and I started loosing my innocence. So sad, but true!

Train started and so as my thinking - "I will let them do all the efforts that they can do, for getting there seat. If nothing works, I will see, what I can do for them. Let me wait for the 15-20 minutes." Life had thought me to always keep a balance in everything.

"My luggage is on the seat and people are devoid of it.This is not done. If I would sleep happily without caring about the people around me, specially the lady, it will be the serious dishonor of my principles ('sanskars' ) which I got from my parents,uncle and few of my very close friends. Offering seat to the lady means loosing the seat completely. I am left with two options, be brazen and sleep happily or be stupid and loose both seat and the sleep. Considering nightout is not a big deal for me, as I am used to It. I did all my studies in night time. Being a younger person I could take the pain of remaining awake the whole night." - I took the second option. 

I got up and unlocked my luggage. I kept my luggage below the seat.

"If you want, you can seat." I offered my seat to the lady and stood near the seat.

Without wasting a second, she was on to my seat.

"Please take the seat. You have done fast today." Her husband said.

I took my mobile headphones and went to my favourite place in the train, the door. I love to stand in the door and sing songs. I started the music player ...."Na Hai Yeh Pana....Na Khona Hi Hai...Tera Na Hona Jane...Kyun Hona Hi Hai?....". I got lost in the songs for 3 hours.

Now It was 5:00 in my watch and I was feeling really sleepy, but I thought it will be indecent to wake them up. I waited patiently for them to getup.


"Chaaee chaaee...garam chaaee..." Train stopped at some station. I was so tired and sleepy that I did not bother to know which station it was.They got up by 7:30 morning because of the noise of people, selling, tea and the breakfast.

The guy and his mother managed to sleep together on my seat and his father slept on the floor.
When that guy got up, unintentionally, we had an eye-contact. May be out of guilt, he suddenly got out of his bedsheet and sat.

They all went to get freshen up and left there luggage and bags on the seat.They didn't bother to offer me the seat.

"Bahiya raat bhar nahi sooye" Guy told his father.

His father replied something, I wasn't in the mood of listening. Then they ordered some tea and breakfast and  started eating. His mother dropped tea on the seat and on my luggage. This was very irritating. By the time his father managed to drop the biscuit flour on the seat. It was 8:30 in my watch and they had no plans on leaving the seat. Seat was already dirty and I wanted to see the brazenness of these people. So I also didn't ask them to leave the seat. Actually, my past experience with people is very nice. Wherever I go, I meet with good people. This was probably one of the very few different experiences of my life.

"Bhaiya, aapne seat di iisliye saholiyat ho gayi" His father said looking at me. I wasn't impressed with this fake appreciation.

At nine the guy sleeping at the middle berth woke up.

"Bhaiya, aap soaaye nahi?" I felt like, he added insult to the injury.

"Nahi mooze neend nahi aarahi thi." I gave him the stupid answer.

After few minutes, the person on the top berth also woke up.I cleaned my luggage and took it to the top berth and slept there, for two hours. By 11:00 morning I woke up. This was the time for lunch. Everybody from our chamber started eating lunch. Man asked his son to offer me the lunch.

"Would you like to eat?" he asked me.

"Nopes" I said.

He forced me to join him for lunch, I touched his knees expressing my "No thanks".

During lunch, One old women dropped the sweet "Khir', on one persons feet. Then other guy poured water on his feet and chappal to clean it up. This was all pathetic to see but It was an opportunity for me to increase my tolerance level. I wasn't bothered with what was happening around me.

Thought came in my mind, "What kind of people I am traveling with?"

It triggered another thought, "When you complain about the people around you, remember the fact that, you are with those people only because you are one of them!" - By Swami Vivekananda.

I started questioning myself - "What would you do? If you are traveling with your mother, sister or some older person? Will you offer your seat to others?"

"My first responsibility is security and comfort of my loved once. Nope, In that case it will not be possible for me to offer the seat to others. If it is at the cost of my own comfort, I will do it. Even if I happen to have some important appointment or interview, on the same day, I am reaching the destination, I may not offer my seat to others."

"As you had bad experience this time, If same thing happens while returning from Nagpur to Bangalore what will you do?"

"As I will be traveling alone in the return journey, I can afford to offer my seat to others. About the bad experience - When I was very young, Doordarshan used to broadcast one serial, named 'Hindustani' - Where there was one person walking on the riverside, He happened to see one insect was sinking in water. He looked around for some wood or paper, to take the insect out from the water. But there was nothing around, so he took his hand in the water to save its life. That insect took his bite. Because of the pain, man took his hand out of water and insect fell in the water.... This happened 3-4 times. Another person watching this, laughed on the stupidity of this man and said 'Why do you want to save that insect?, let it die, It is biting you, leave it.' First man replied 'ye ek chotasa kida aapni fitrat nahi chodata! aur main iinsan hoke aapni fitrat kaise chod doon? '. If people like those I met there don't leave there attitude, What makes me leave my attitude? Just because of such people, I cant let my principles down.".

"Expecting Life to be better for you, just because you try to be better with others, is like expecting that, lion will leave you just because you are vegetarian!"

I looked out of the window, to see the huge land and small plots, where people have constructed there home. There OWN place.

"Do I really owned the seat? Do we really own the places? plots?gadgets? People?"

Nopes.

I started relating that train journey with Life - The Journey!
I got the "Reservation" of the seat, and not its "Ownership", for the limited time. From the start of my journey to its end.
Relating this with life, we get the "Reservation" of the various assets in this world, and not there "Ownership". From our birth till we say good bye!
Before I had that seat, Someone else had it and once I finish my journey, someone else will have it. Same is the case in life!

Its very human nature, to mistake this "Reservation" as "Ownership"!

The Ownership, that doesn't allow us to be human with others, the ownership, that doesn't let us give space to our loved once, the ownership, that takes us away from humanity, indeed, is false!

God has given us an opportunity in the form of money, position and power to serve the humankind and not to feel its ownership!

I stooped complaining about the people and started talking with the guys in my compartment. This is one good quality, I have developed, of making friends easily. I was actually enjoying the journey.

I took pride, that I kept the respect of my principles and I tried to give comfort to people around me, at the cost of my sleep, comfort and reservation.

One of my office mate was traveling in the same train, He joined me in the afternoon. He, I and my other friends, we talked, eat and enjoyed together.


Hrishikesh Alshi
Nagpur/Bangalore